"Love ceases to be a pleasure when it ceases to be a secret"
- Apra Behn
Your hands become puppet shows
for the stranger crowds.
Their eyes looking to Court TV
gavel smack the way the fingers
cross stitch into one.
Watching your cheeks clim Everest.
Calling your proximity to one another
a matter of time.
When hearts go public
they are parade floats
with a weight restriction.
Cruising past the sidewalk cracks
filled with synical TV consumers
comparing you to their magazines
and their parents.
They listen to every leaf russling
outside of your smile.
The life expectancy of embrace
shown off at the nearest park bench
decreases dramatically when pretending
not to care about the surrounding world.
(Then why not the backyard
or the living room?)
There are contacts who you will associate with and tell
too many stories about Thursday
where your voices sword faught
over coffee.
Not enough will be about the way you
sleep with magnet arms.
Not enough dedicated to the quiet dinner
your mouths cherished.
Publicity breeds six o'clock news stories
more than it nurtures the pentahouse
of a new marraige.
If a couple breaks before anyone knows
it was glue sticked together
did it really happen?
Or was it just a theory?
Friday, April 6, 2012
5/30 A list of things where two is not better than one
Gunshots
Leprechaun movies
Burnt chicken
House fires
Breakups
Twilight books
Egos
Losing streaks
Flat tires
Tornados
Rommates
Fried dinners
Defibrillators
Diagnoses
Addictions
Insurance claims
Expiration dates
Tyrants
Protection orders
Police sirens
Spouses
Hate
Ignorance
Unlocked doors to an empty homes
Motorcycle passengers
Mortgages
Hair styles on one head
Side effects
Cups of coffee
Goodbyes
Goodbye
Goodbye
Leprechaun movies
Burnt chicken
House fires
Breakups
Twilight books
Egos
Losing streaks
Flat tires
Tornados
Rommates
Fried dinners
Defibrillators
Diagnoses
Addictions
Insurance claims
Expiration dates
Tyrants
Protection orders
Police sirens
Spouses
Hate
Ignorance
Unlocked doors to an empty homes
Motorcycle passengers
Mortgages
Hair styles on one head
Side effects
Cups of coffee
Goodbyes
Goodbye
Goodbye
4/30 Moving Out
If you can't call it home
close your eyes and ask yourself why.
When the answer is silence ----
let it wash over you like clean bed sheets.
Wrap yourself in the empty and call it departure.
If departure fits around the space between your bodies
do not speak.
Stare at your shoe laces like
you are solving a math equation
and the answer will be the right thing to say.
When you realize the right thing to say
is an imaginary line written into Disney films,
look up ------- acknowledge the dust on your tongue,
check your itinerary for somewhere
you can be two hours early.
When the door no longer lets outside ------
inside,
mourn the end
mourn the starting over.
When the engine turns
and asks your why -------
call it purging.
When you stop talking to yourself
find the next place to fill your stomach
and fill your stomach with you.
close your eyes and ask yourself why.
When the answer is silence ----
let it wash over you like clean bed sheets.
Wrap yourself in the empty and call it departure.
If departure fits around the space between your bodies
do not speak.
Stare at your shoe laces like
you are solving a math equation
and the answer will be the right thing to say.
When you realize the right thing to say
is an imaginary line written into Disney films,
look up ------- acknowledge the dust on your tongue,
check your itinerary for somewhere
you can be two hours early.
When the door no longer lets outside ------
inside,
mourn the end
mourn the starting over.
When the engine turns
and asks your why -------
call it purging.
When you stop talking to yourself
find the next place to fill your stomach
and fill your stomach with you.
3/30 The Men I Will Not Be
"Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one"
- Martin Heidegger
The Baseball Player
The ball is a red stitched magic trick
flung by an untamed shoulder
traveling at highway speed limits.
The bruise left when my back
found its feet too flat to move
screamed a father's fist.
"Take one for the team" they told me,
it's worth one quarter of an all for nothing run
in a 21-3 loss we aren't allowed
to keep track of.
The Astronaut
The deck of a model ship the exact size
of the Santa MAria rocks back and forth
like a tree branch in a light breeze.
My toes grip the soles of my shoes
afraid of the wood giving way to ovcean.
That moment sticks to my brain
when crossing bridges, when flying,
when looking up at night.
The Singer
I was born without my father's voice
The Philosopher
It is hard to say anything new
in a world with Youtube and FaceBook.
Everyone posts their thoughts
less so everyone can read them
more for proof that they thought it.
We are less unique when we are allowed to talk
too much.
The Badass
My father taught me that speaking
like a mountain rock slide
scares everyone into running far enough
to never hear what you have to say.
The Musician
The strings do not sing like an ink pen
at midnight.
I played too many songs I did not write.
Classical music is the only kind
that is played and not covered.
The Regretful
There are mistakes in everyone's chapter.
We cannot pick out each one
and attempt to grow a better tree out of our own heads.
- Martin Heidegger
The Baseball Player
The ball is a red stitched magic trick
flung by an untamed shoulder
traveling at highway speed limits.
The bruise left when my back
found its feet too flat to move
screamed a father's fist.
"Take one for the team" they told me,
it's worth one quarter of an all for nothing run
in a 21-3 loss we aren't allowed
to keep track of.
The Astronaut
The deck of a model ship the exact size
of the Santa MAria rocks back and forth
like a tree branch in a light breeze.
My toes grip the soles of my shoes
afraid of the wood giving way to ovcean.
That moment sticks to my brain
when crossing bridges, when flying,
when looking up at night.
The Singer
I was born without my father's voice
The Philosopher
It is hard to say anything new
in a world with Youtube and FaceBook.
Everyone posts their thoughts
less so everyone can read them
more for proof that they thought it.
We are less unique when we are allowed to talk
too much.
The Badass
My father taught me that speaking
like a mountain rock slide
scares everyone into running far enough
to never hear what you have to say.
The Musician
The strings do not sing like an ink pen
at midnight.
I played too many songs I did not write.
Classical music is the only kind
that is played and not covered.
The Regretful
There are mistakes in everyone's chapter.
We cannot pick out each one
and attempt to grow a better tree out of our own heads.
2/30 Pantoum Excercise
The sun rises over my left ear
every morning without fail.
Let's start at the flower bed
filled with memories of friends
every morning. Without fail
you will see their faces, tooth-grin
filled. With the memories of friends
you can hear a story to start the day.
You will see thier faces. Tooth-grin
and childlike. Moving to the stereo,
you can hear a story. To start the day
press play on anold boy band singing
and childlike moving. To the stereo
this is 2001, there are no apologies.
Press play on an old boy. Band singing
seventeen years a graduate of gossip.
This is 2006, there are no apologies
fo calling somewhere else home. Building monuments
seventeen years a graduate of gossip.
Watch the sun noon time over growing up.
For calling somewhere else home, building monuments
to the broken heart waves crashing on a young man.
Watch the sun noon time over growing up.
End the ride with the first rent check
to the broken. Heart waves crashing on a young man
eager to love something more than himself.
End the ride. With the first rent check
paid for without a parent. The sun sets
eager to love something. More than himself
let's start with the flower bed
paid for without a parent. The sun sets
and rises over my left ear.
every morning without fail.
Let's start at the flower bed
filled with memories of friends
every morning. Without fail
you will see their faces, tooth-grin
filled. With the memories of friends
you can hear a story to start the day.
You will see thier faces. Tooth-grin
and childlike. Moving to the stereo,
you can hear a story. To start the day
press play on anold boy band singing
and childlike moving. To the stereo
this is 2001, there are no apologies.
Press play on an old boy. Band singing
seventeen years a graduate of gossip.
This is 2006, there are no apologies
fo calling somewhere else home. Building monuments
seventeen years a graduate of gossip.
Watch the sun noon time over growing up.
For calling somewhere else home, building monuments
to the broken heart waves crashing on a young man.
Watch the sun noon time over growing up.
End the ride with the first rent check
to the broken. Heart waves crashing on a young man
eager to love something more than himself.
End the ride. With the first rent check
paid for without a parent. The sun sets
eager to love something. More than himself
let's start with the flower bed
paid for without a parent. The sun sets
and rises over my left ear.
1/30 Nor Are We the Ground
We are not cement
We are not rock and gravel and cigarette butts
We are not knives swaying in the yard
We are not the bottom of an above ground pool
nor a below ground pool
nor are we the ground
We do not fit under carpet
We do not fit under couches and table legs
We do not fit below jackhammers
We do not give rest to ankles
We do not tie off our tongues
We do not callouse or cramp or dry out
We cannot pothole
We cannot splash
We cannot splinter
We are not to be danced on
no moonwalk
no worm
We are not the bottom of gravity
So keep your feet to yourself
We are not rock and gravel and cigarette butts
We are not knives swaying in the yard
We are not the bottom of an above ground pool
nor a below ground pool
nor are we the ground
We do not fit under carpet
We do not fit under couches and table legs
We do not fit below jackhammers
We do not give rest to ankles
We do not tie off our tongues
We do not callouse or cramp or dry out
We cannot pothole
We cannot splash
We cannot splinter
We are not to be danced on
no moonwalk
no worm
We are not the bottom of gravity
So keep your feet to yourself
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